Ramblings of A Teenage Nagger

Okay, I know I’ve posted this before but I just thought I’d post this again in case anyone wants to read it again or something.

Uh anyways, there’s this "Grand Prix" among the idols I read in
September’s edition of DUET; under various different categories. And
since I only understood some of them, I’mma list the categories I
manage to understand. xDDD

"Most Good-looking Idol In Glasses" (pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, I
know. But if there’s another way to translate it, please do not
hesitate to tell me. OTL)
Winner: Ueda Tatsuya
1st Runner Up: Akanishi Jin
2nd Runner Up: Shibutani Subaru

"Most Wanted Idol to Have A Part-time Job With" (gomen, that’s the only way I know to put it. OTL)
Winner: Yasuda Shota
1st Runner Up: Tegoshi Yuya
2nd Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke

"Coolest-looking Idol"
Winner: Nishikido Ryo
1st Runner Up: Ueda Tatsuya
2nd Runner Up: Matsumoto Jun

"Most Wanted Pet"
Winner: Chinen Yuri
1st Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke
2nd Runner Up: Morimoto Ryutaro

"Nicest-looking (or maybe Friendliest?) Idol"
Winner: Tegoshi Yuya
1st Runner Up: (lol, idk how to read his name, sorry. OTL)
2nd Runner Up: Nakamaru Yuichi

"Sexiest Idol"
Winner: Akanishi Jin
1st Runner Up: YamaPi
2nd Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke

"Idol Who Looks Cool Shirtless"(pardon me for my terrible translation skill. OTL)
Winner: Yamapi
1st Runner Up: Kamenashi Kazuya
2nd Runner Up: Takaki Yuya

"Most Fashionable Idol"
Winner: Akanishi Jin
1st Runner Up: Kamenashi Kazuya
2nd Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke

"Best Dressed As A Girl"
Winner: Chinen Yuri
1st Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke
2nd Runner Up: Akanishi Jin

"Most Wanted Friend"
Winner: Nakajima Yuto
1st Runner Up: Yaotome Hikaru
2nd Runner Up: Yamada Ryousuke

and the "grandest" award of them all:

"Most Wanted Lover"
Winner: Yamada Ryousuke
1st Runner Up: Akanishi Jin
2nd Runner Up: YamaPi

And that’s about it! I mean, there’s more in the booklet but I don’t
know how to read kanji, so yeah. 8D I really have to agree with the
first category. Uepi looks really good (no wait, "good" is a complete
understatement. Would "friggen’ hot" do? x333) in glasses. It suits him
best and I personally love the ones with the red frames. x3 Anyways,
thank you for reading this. xDDDD Have a day ahead! But, I mean, if you
decide to post this somewhere else, please inform me first? I mean, it
doesn’t take much time to comment and tell me about it, no? :3

XOXOXO
Hitomi-cchi

<i>Taku!</i> Sometimes, I hate irresponsible dog owners so much! I mean, really, why do they let their dogs wander around the neighbourhood unattended anyway? What if people gets hurt? I know pets shouldn’t be kept locked in cages or tied to the gate (that’s just cruel, okay and no, I’m SO NOT into animal cruelty; even if it involves the pet that I happen to be scared of) but if you’re planning on letting your dog wander around the neighbourhood, <b>BE SURE NOT TO LEAVE IT UNATTENDED, DAMMIT!</b> Okay, so I admit I’m a little afraid of dogs. Not the tiny types like chihuahua; but bigger types, y’know? <b>I nearly got chased on my home this morning!!</b> I’m still shaking as I type this post as I recalled the incident this morning. I mean, after all, that dog was like an inch away from where I stood. I tried to run (well, jog was more like it) but it followed me!! I was so scared I nearly pissed in my jogging pants! And so, I stood still on that pavement as two Indonesian maids from the opposite house and the house behind me watched me with a hint of amusement on their faces.

No, really, I’m not making this stuff up. They look slightly <i>amused</i>, but amused all the same. I was slightly trembling and gulping hard, I asked the maid from the opposite house (trembling, ofcourse), "I-I-Is this your dog?" in Malay. She blinked at me for brief seconds before she shook her head. Meanwhile, the dog was still panting hard; baring its teeth at me and growling in a low voice. I whipped my head to the right and stared at the other Indonesian maid with a pleading look.

She was half-smiling, I think (my brain is currently numb from all the running, panting and pure fear, mind you) but she tried to shoo the dog away. She then gave me signal to walk slowly and after a few steps ahead, the dog started to walk up towards me again! I was so scared I felt like bursting into tears right then and there! Then I remembered my late father’s words; he told me to pray if a dog tries to chase me. And so I did. In my heart of course, not out loud. I exhaled a breath of relief when I noticed the dog turned around and went back to whatever it was doing before I passed that road.

And so, I sped up into an alley and rushed home. It’s a good thing my house wasn’t that far from where the incident happened. <i>Yokatta!</i>

Moral of the story? NEVER.EVER. leave your dogs unattended. And, I would never ever wander around the neighbourhood anymore after going to the shop. And also, go straight home after buying the stuff that I need. I am never going to do this again (well, for the time being anyway). NEVER AGAIN!!

"I don’t hate dogs; I just hate its irresponsible owners is all."
XOXO
Cerra

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m gonna be offline for 5 days straight. Yep, you saw that right. 5 days straight. Why? Coz I’m away on a vacation, baby! xD Yeah, so, while I’m away, I won’t be online for awhile. (Or maybe forever. Nah, just screwing with ya. xD) So, do not expect immediate replies, okay? So, anyway, like my previous blog; it’s okay if you don’t reply. Coz it’s not like I can attend to it immediately. So, yeah! It’s okay if you don’t reply at all! Gawd, I am at a loss for words here. Uh, so okay, anyway, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL OF MY CHINESE FRIENDS!!!! May this new year brings lots of joy and happiness to all of y’all! Yush, Hitomi-chan, roger and out! ^0^>

Infinite X’s and O’s,
OtakuGirl Hitomi

My first Japanese lesson commenced yesterday; Saturday on the 26th at the infamous ICLS in SS15, Subang Jaya. All the way until I stepped into the classroom, my stomach did triple somersaults. So nervous that I almost puked my non-existent lunch (i didn’t have enough time to actually eat my lunch; screw the wicked traffic jam yesterday!) I was late by 4 minutes and almost everyone filled the entire classroom. I swear, my legs were shaking like there was a 7-on-a-Richter-scale-earthquake!  Not only that, I was slightly shocked to see a male sensei standing there instead of a female one like what Shaz and Naqqy told me. All the more reason to feel like running away right then and there. So, anyway, I took my name card, made my way and sat next to this girl; which I assume must be a college student. Face it, I was completely alone. I envy the three girls sitting behind me and the siblings in front of me. At least they had each other to giggle and ask questions without feeling nervous or whatever!

Look, it’s not like I didn’t attempt to start a conversation or anything; I did. But the response that I got wasn’t encouraging enough for me to go on "chatting" with her (sure, if you call one-word-reply "chat"). So yeah, basically, I sat through the entire lesson; checking my wristwatch every now and then praying that the class would end soon. Okay yeah, I lied to my friends and my mum by telling them I enjoyed when I was actually freaking out the entire time about whether I’d be able to make friends or not. I didn’t enjoy it. Big deal. (okay, it is to me, anyway) I feel like I didn’t want to go back there. I had no idea that I would feel this miserable. But, it’s too late to turn back now. My mum already paid like RM 342 for the lessons; and they’re not refundable. So, like it or not, I have to hide my insecurities and worries from her and pretend like I enjoyed it when in actuality I don’t.

Unless of course, I made some new friends real soon. But how the heck am I supposed to do that if they sound like they don’t even want to talk to me? Looks like it’s about time I learn how to survive being all alone. *sighs* Any tips, friends??

"Too good to be true; there was a catch,"
OtakuGirl

Yeah, I changed my mind. Well, that’s only half-true. The other half-truth is that my mum’s taking this laptop and keeping it away in her office so that I’d have more concentration on my last-minute studies. So, on Thursday at night, she’ll be taking this laptop and I shall be offline for a very long time. Maybe 2, 3 weeks, perhaps?

The reason I’m writing it in my blog is because so that people will know where have I gone to and sure, I can post it through bulletin but my bulletin disappears so fast that by the time noon reaches, the bulletin board might be filled with other bulletins. ^.^V

So! I shall be making my main point here. Since I’m going to be offline for a very long time, I have a good news for you. Any comments that I’ve ever sent before this doesn’t necessarily need to be replied. So, you can take a break from replying my comments for 3 weeks!! Isn’t that great? Yeah, I really really don’t mind you not replying my comments during these weeks at all because you know that I won’t be able to attend to them immediately. So, that’s why I’m letting you go and you don’t need to reply my comments, okay?? ^_^V Hontou ni daijoubu desu yo!!

Okay, I think I’ve said what I have to say. Iryca-chan, gomen ne. Looks like I won’t be here anymore when you get back. ^ll^ Hopefully, I’d be able to see you again once my SPM is over.

So, my friends, do take good care of yourself and I’m gonna miss you guys so so so much. Sayounara, minna-san!!!

Farewell,
OtakuGirl

*sighs* gawd, it’s school holidays and there’s nothing fun to do except for going online, read mangas, blah blah blah. i feel like a total couch potato right now. dammit. holidays=weight gain X((( nuh-uh! i don’t want that to happen! i’m not gonna let that happen!!

haih…. if only u-know-who wasn’t such a kiljoy, i’d be jumping up and down right now, excited that she won’t be messing my room anymore and make it look like as if a typhoon had been in my room. 0.o whatevs. she’s still my flesh-and-blood, so, i’d better not a be a bitch and bitch about her. what goes around, comes around, i’d say.

so……… *sighs* i wish i have loads of cash right now. i had just blow all of mine on a shopping spree last weekend. TT0TT damn! i’m flat-broke right now! h-e-l-p!!! how da hell am i gonna pay my "kutu" money, that’s a whole entirely different thing. i’ll figure that part out later.

anyway, happy holidays to y’all.

Beautiful. One simple
word that can be described about a lot of things. One simple word
that– on my opinion, anyway– has a much more greater effect than the
word "pretty". But, does it make any difference with the word
"beautiful"? On my opinion, yes, it does. "Pretty" is used to describe
external beauty only. What I think, anyway. And "beautiful", it can be
described just about ANYTHING. Personality, characteristics, behavior,
skills, ANYTHING. It can also be used to describe external beauty.
That’s why I find the word "beautiful" speaks for its own name. It’s
special.

"I may not be pretty, but I know I’m beautiful." I kept
repeating these words over and over again whenever I see
flawless-skinned supermodels lay sprawled across the glossy magazine
pages. Sure, they might look pretty, have the hottest bodies, have the
shiniest manes, the gorgeous make ups, the perfect tans, but, whenever
I stare into that gorgeous pair of eyes, I see… emptiness. Somehow,
despite all of that glitz and glamour, the supermodels reminded me of a
mannequin; made to impress, but nothing more than a non-responsive,
human-like figure. That’s how I feel about them.

Okay, okay. I
know some of y’all might think, "Du-uh. That’s how supermodels are
supposed to look during the photo shoots. Of course they had that blank
expression on their faces." No, it’s something else. I just can’t find
the suitable word to describe that sense of "emptiness" emanating from
them whenever I see those faces.

So, is this what you call
beautiful? Well, truth be told, "beautiful" can be defined into many
things. It just depends on how you use the word and at whom. On my
opinion, EVERYONE is beautiful because we were beautifully moulded by
God with special personalities and unique characteristics. So,
basically, NO ONE WAS BORN UGLY!!!

<~ Cheesy ending, I know. What can I say? It IS the truth, after all. ~>

Positively, Unusually Ecstatic Today,
♥ Cerra Azizi ♥

Dammit. There goes my future and my dreams. It has been tarnished by my very own teacher. Okay, confused and curious? Lemme fill ya guys in.

Okay, in my country, (Malaysia), in order to score good jobs, you need good recommendations in your testimonial when you graduate from high school. In order to get good recommendations in your testi, you need to behave nicely, excel in your studies and, well, basically, be an obedient DOG, y’know? Yes.

But, what happened to me was, I had totally snapped back at her (jeez, that happened 2 WEEKS AGO! and, fyi, I wasn’t even pissed off with her! I had some probs at home, for God’s sake!) So now, basically, just because I had snapped at her (and for ignoring her orders to sweep the class), my future is practically tarnished, no thanks to her.

*sigh* If this WERE to happen, then, I had wasted my 11 years of studies for NOTHING!!! Not to mention, I’ll be letting EVERYONE around me down. So, I don’t want to let ANYONE down, I just wish God will take me away tonight. I just think it’s pointless to go on living if she decides to destroy my future. GAWD!!!! SHE’S SO BLOODY EMO AND IMMATURE!!!!! IF SHE HATES ME SO MUCH, SHE SHOULD HAVE A TALK WITH ME, NOT TARNISH MY HOPES, DREAMS AND MY FUTURE, DAMMIT!!!!!

So, basically, this was what happened today. Here’s another one: She practically said, "Don’t be like Sarah," in front of everyone while I was out. Is that one way to treat an orphan who had just lost her father????? I mean, what the hell???? Whatever it is, I hope Allah s.w.t. will give her a "very valuable lesson". Well, that’s it for tody, folks. I have a killer headache now, so, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. ^_^V

<~ ALL of my hopes, dreams and future had just been flushed down the drain ~>

Nobody’s perfect, dammit!

Cerra Azizi

In case some of y’all are still clueless as to what "Narutard" is, it’s actually a word which most of us Naruto-haters created; blended in by 2 words; "Naruto" and "retard". Yup, that is what I meant by Narutard.

Okay, see the subject above? Well, yeah. I did got bullied by some low-lives who think they’re so above everybody through MySpace. I mean, they can’t even speak proper English, for God’s sake!!! And yet, they still cuss and profaned me. Tch. Here’re the messages that I received:

Sender: [Fariq]

Subject: fuck!!!!!!!

Message: kau berlagak kan nak increase friend lar apa lar…………………bagak sombong………………………..blablabla i dun need 4 words hahahahaha.

he misinterpreted what I’d written on the "Rules & Regulations on Adding Me" on my MySpace page. Here’s what I REALLY wrote on the page which he misinterpreted:

~> ANY MESSAGES THAT GOES: "PLS ADD ME…", ANY MSGS THAT HAS ONLY 5 WORDS OR LESS IN IT AND ANY MSGS WITH "HYE…" WILL NOT BE ENTERTAINED. I HAVE NO TIME FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST LOOKING FOR ME TO INCREASE THEIR "FRIENDS".

obviously, I had clearly stated that "I DIDNT WANT PEOPLE TO ADD ME JUST TO INCREASE THEIR FRIENDS COUNT" and I didn’t say anything about being "arrogant" or "berlagak". Obviously, this boy hasn’t learn anything at all during English lessons. Sad, isn’t it? Coz, education doesn’t come cheap.

Okay, here’s another one I received earlier last night. He, too, SUCKED at English. Just check it out.

Sender: Anbu <+BtS+_+Cr3wZ+>

Subject: An otaku not hate any anime….that the real otaku…ur not otaku

Message: Fucking to a damn people who said he/orshe a real otaku but hate 1 of the anime or manga

First of all, I thought that an Indian guy had sent me this message coz the display name of the sender started with "Anbu". Guess not. The word "Anbu" must be associated with "Naruto". Go figure. Yes. THAT bad. Just take a look at his English. I mean, "An otaku NOT HATE ANY ANIME"??? What the hell? And, "Fucking to a damn people"? Seriously, I almost laughed out loud when I read it earlier this morning. I mean, if you can’t even speak proper English, just shut the trap and don’t profane me! Gawd! It’s no wonder why some people labeled Malays as "poseurs". I mean, just take a look at the evidences I gave! If you can’t even CUSS properly, just speak Malay aje la. Lol. Anyway, these are solid proofs and "symptoms" that you are being cyberbullied. These messages are more likely to be "Mild Cyberbullying". (mild, as in, it hasn’t reached that "dangerous" level yet. well, i’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much) So, if you are being threatened, got these kind of messages, "sexually" harassed, it means you are being CYBERBULLIED. So, if it’s troubling you, you should get help. Talk to the person you trust the most. Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. Stay tuned for more.

<~ Stop cyberbullying, love world peace ~>

Pissed Off and Satisfied,

Cerra Azizi

Living’s just too… much for me.
I just can’t take it anymore.
Take me away, God, oh please do.
So that I can go see my father again.
Take me away, God, oh please do.
Nothing matters much to me anymore.
I have no purpose anymore.
Nobody needs me anymore now.
I’m just a nuisance to everyone.
A shameful creature who doesn’t deserve to live.
Simply a nobody.
Just take me away, God, oh please do.
I’m nothing but a nuisance to the world.
A burden to everyone;
A good-for-nothing creature.
Simply a nobody.
With no purposes in life.
Unneeded, useless and good-for-nothing.
What purpose do I have left if I can’t even excel in school?
Life is simply meaningless without education.
And so, what IS my purpose in life?
Take me away, God, oh please do.

<~ It’s how my body releases endorphins. ~>

Unappreciated Creature,
Cerra Azizi